Myth 6: Having become more confident or acted more aggressive, you are missing out on opportunities you would have had if you had been “nice.”

As a former nice guy, there is always a lingering thought in the back of my mind that I am missing out on that “special” girl who would have just happened to come along if I had only sat and waited instead of become more confident.

This is perhaps one of the most powerful myths of all.

Why?

If you ask what Western civilization’s dominant religion is, most people would answer Christianity.

But there is a religion that is much stronger and more influential.

It’s the western ideal of True Love.

It’s the idea that everyone of us has that perfect mate out there and she will come along sooner or later if we just “be ourselves.”

Almost every romantic comdedy, action adventure and Disney movie has convincingly preached this idea to us since we were children.

This myth tells us that if we are unobjectionable enough and keep doing what we’re doing, Love will come to us.  It’s not something you can go out and find.

It’s true that if you become more confident and take more initiative you will experience a lot more rejection than if you are the shy, introspective guy hiding in a corner with a beer in his hand.

And some “techniques” are slimy. Some things you try will turn women off.

But you know from past experience that what you were doing wasn’t working.

Part of the growth process for any endeavor is pushing yourself to do what you were previously uncomfortable doing.

Have some faith in yourself to be able to sort the good from the bad.

You are a real, thinking, feeling human being that can discern when something feels wrong.

Contrary to your fearful inclination, more niceness is not the solution.

True confidence in yourself and your own feelings is the solution.

You can become a confident, independent man who loves and feels for women without being overly care-taking and mushy.